Image: ‘The culprit found legless at the scene of the crime’

Strathclyde Police (Glasgow) have been adding anti-crime labels to ‘Buckfast’ tonic wine in an attempt to warn consumers of the violent behaviour associated with the alcoholic drink.

Made by Benedictine Monks in Devon, ‘Buckie’ is a favourite tipple amongst Scottish criminals and Neds. ‘Gie us a chug oh yer buckie, pal’ was a phrase I often heard as a teenager, lurking in the Grass Market in Edinburgh with the sickly sweet stuff circulating a gaggle of Avril Lavigne wannabes.

The 15% proof wine has been associated with over 5,000 crimes committed in the Glasgow region in just over three years… its hardly surprising then that disgruntled locals refer to the drink as ‘Commotion Lotion’. Buckfast distributors, J Chandler & co. believe that the bottle marking stigmatises the brand and are consequently taking legal action.

To be honest, I’m not sure the typical Buckie drinker will mind the crime warning too much. In fact, seems like the perfect scapegoat for those inclined to get caught in the  act…‘it wasnae me tha dunnit! Was the buckie, ‘onest. Look’.

Jess Swinton, London